2010

There's a faint sound in the distance, if I close my eyes and open my ears I can hear it clearly. It calls my name day in and day out. From the kitchen I could hear it calling my name, I followed it to your bedroom where you laid sound asleep. I kissed you goodbye and your arm reached out to grab mine, you kissed my hand. Stained glass from the previous evening. It was all a masquerade. I swore to myself; never again.

2011

I heard the sound again, I closed my eyes. I followed and it brought me to the washroom where my guts poured into the toilet bowl where I sat perched over the edge gasping for breath barely able to keep my head up. The sound was there in the distance, I got up to follow it, hoping it had the answers this time. But when I opened my eyes there you were staring at me, in disgust, wondering how it could have gotten to this. And the clock was rocking back and forth back and forth the ebb and flow of time, counting down the days.

Early into 2012

I heard it again, this time I ran. I ran as far as my legs could carry me. I had to stop, gasping for breath, I looked up at the sky and there it was. As I was trying to make out the shapes and understand what was above, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. It became obvious to me then that there was nowhere to hide, there you were, right behind me, once again. Everywhere.

You brought me home. Lord knows I was not lost, I was merely running away from you, it was the only way.

Push me back, "settle down, time will do you good", you said and kissed me goodbye. I often wonder how much time it must take. I often wonder.

2012

Tonight I heard the sound again. I kept my eyes open but I still heard it, clear as day. I clutched at the pillow as he spoke, as the truth came out. They didn't come from you, they came from him. While it's all the same to you it makes all the difference to me.

I sat there in disbelief. The faint sounds ceased all at once. I knew this day would come.

We are all good and we all deserve to be happy.

I often wonder how much time.

I often wonder how much time this must take.