a year

a year later


it is not a question of what has been gained or not, or who is responsible for what. at some point, you've just gotta look at what's in front of you and decide "okay, it's time we put this to rest". and you close that door. sometimes you've just gotta give up.

after the show at gèsu i texted the other one asking where he was
on walking to the meeting point i thought maybe i was over the relationship. how i didnt care about s.r. or s.h. anymore. how i almost want him to experience them. and after hearing from him earlier today, a distant tone, he's someplace else. he's always been someplace else.  i thought about the tour and how it will be such a drag to have to be around him if i'm just not feeling it anymore. he's pushed me so far away this seems like the only logical reaction.
but then after drinks
while walking home
i thought about the tour
and all the women
who would be coming to the shows
and the panic set in
and there i was,
in love again.

maybe i am paranoid

but maybe he just doesn't love me

"maybe now isn't the time to be thinking of terrible ideas"

devour my face, eat it whole

I could easily have not come, but it is hard to leave.

j'aimerais t'aimer

l'amour fou

On ne s'embrassent jamais, ni pour se saluer, ni avant de se quitter. Que dans le lit. 
Durant qu'on fassent l'amour, quand il est derrière moi, son corps se rapproche du mien et nous sommes collés l'un sur l'autre. Il prend ma tete avec sa main et la tourne et c'est là qu'on s'embrassent. Les yeux fermés, on ne se regardent pas.

habits

i returned to my room and he was lying on my bed with the floral comforter draped over his body. the film camera that i purchased in berlin 4 years prior was sitting on my dresser. I thought about berlin, I thought about alex, i thought about alex in berlin, i thought about both Alex and me, in berlin.
''are you going to take a picture of me?'' he asked in his thick accent as he positioned his body towards the camera and lowered the comforter to show his chest.
''i photograph all my guests" i explained as i focused in on the shot ''so i have them with me even after they've gone''.

francesco

''what would you like for breakfast? I would love to make you something'' he said from the kitchen, as the smell of coffee spread through the apartment.

''I'm just not that hungry right now'' I responded while gathering my things from the washroom, ''I think I'll go home''.

I sat on the train and watched the people in my same car; an English family on a vacation, a young couple holding hands, one on two off, three on, four off. Everyone either coming or going somewhere, while I just sat, and watched, all the way to Brooklyn.

Seems like everyone is moving forward, going somewhere, taking chances, living their lives, while I'm still sitting in the same spot, watching them go by.

berne

''Everyone likes attention, it's just a fact'' Dor said to me in his calm, tranquil voice. As we drove down 16th street approaching my apartment, I recalled the previous evening and the tension that had built up that week. I closed my eyes and pictured myself sitting on his bed watching him pack his bag, he was leaving the next morning. For a couple of moments I let my mind wander to what could have happened that evening, had I stayed. The cab stopped at my door and I carried my bags upstairs and went straight to my room.

I laid in my bed, read the message once more.

guidance

Because of the operation, Miles could only whisper and when you listen to his trumpet playing, especially with a harmon mute, that's what he sounded like, it sounded like his voice. Thelonious Monk walked and moved like his music. there is no separation between you and your music. You are, you are the bass, you are the piano. the piano is you. There is no separation between you. your personality comes through your instrument, regardless. So what we have to develop is not our ability to play the instrument, we have to develop our personalities, musical and otherwise. 

Max (roach) said be conscious that energy is not enough. I heard a recording coming in today, and the saxophone player I didnt like at all - sounded like his reed was too tight for him, he couldn't control it. He was going on raw energy, which was not particularly appropriate for the tune, but he didnt have control of the instrument. And there was somebody else, on a recording right after that who was having the same problem with control of the instrument. YOU CONTROL THE INSTRUMENT! The instrument cant control you! if the instrument is controlling you then... you haven't done enough work, essentially. The idea is that you're presenting yourself to the world, you're offering to the world your talent. So the only reason to practice is not to get better on your instrument, that's the theory that some people have, my idea is that you remove the instrument as an obstacle between you and music. I want to hear you communicate, communicate an idea, communicate something to the rest of the world, because that's what you're about, that's what you are. - Cecil Bridgewater

la magie

I rolled over and saw that he was fast asleep. Two don't fit so comfortably in my bed. To make matters worse for him, through the course of the night I had somehow managed to claim all the bed covers, leaving him without. In a fit of generosity I pulled them over his body and brought my head to his shoulder. It was simple, and peaceful.
Unfortunate that he has a girlfriend.

yoga

My thighs shook as the instructor encouraged us, yelling ''three more breaths, you can do it!!'' My arms high in the air, shoulders at my ears as I squatted wishing for the painful moment to end.  ''I surrender'' I said under my breath as I exhaled and moved into downward facing dog.

my 20th birthday.

Emilie I feel awful. I called him last night a bunch of times and he didn't answer then I called gab and he handed me the phone. He had been talking with Isabelle that whole time and was ignoring my calls. I told him he needed to come over because we needed to finish it off. And he said he'd be here in 30 minutes. And he never came. I unlocked my door and everything. I sent him an email saying he needs to call me when he wakes up. It's hard to explain what I feel but before I just felt sorry for myself but now the feeling comes from my stomach. I feel anxious and terrible like I'm going to vomit. I want him to come over but I don't know what I want to say to him. I reread the message and he said that he wished we could be together and laugh and talk and that he misses me and wants my love. I don't understand anything. I want to ask him why were not together if he means what he said in the message. And what the fuck does it mean to not want to be with someone because you can't give back love. How hard is it to do that? I don't know what I want to hear but I feel terrible and my stomach is in such an unpleasant place as well as my little heart. I feel a little better now that I've written this message. A tinsy bit. I kind of feel like now I don't want to see him right now. But the reality is that I need closure. I am going to be so unproductive if I don't get it. I can't keep feeling like this. How do I change this feeling. It's terrible. I was even talking to Sam G. last night, the most beautiful man in the world, with whom I would love to just do nothing with, but I couldn't just hang out with him, I felt like I had to keep an eye on alex. Sure enough he was talking to Isabelle again. He will always love her. They spent three years together and he'll love her more than he's ever loved me. I realized I'm having a hard time accepting the breakup. The reality of it hasn't hit. I don't want to believe or to realize. And im trying to find excuses and reasons why he doesn't love me. But I can't do that. I hope one day he realizes what could have been. I don't know what im going to do today. I feel awful. So shitty. Anxious wondering if a girl slept over, wondering what he was thinking. If he finds me super annoying after last night.. I need to figure out what I'll do with my life. I just want to move away. For a really long time. 
Forever.

I fall in love too easily

We stood outside of the pizza joint eating a freshly made slice of vegetarian pizza. I watched his lips move as he spoke to one of his friends in his thick accent. There are no words that could have described how I felt that night.
As I walked home I felt alive. I hadn't felt that way in years.

help me I think I'm falling

I sat in the taxi cab and I felt like crying but I knew I needed a little push, the tears were close but not close enough. I thought about what song would help me get to this place. I put on October from the TEA album. I thought myself lame as I turned my ipod on, "god Ali, you are so lame, you really can't think of anything else to listen to?". I muted the music from the cab and put my earbuds in.
The song starts off with an instrumental electric guitar vibe and then the harp comes in. I felt the tears come closer, but still nothing. It's frustrating when you are so sure one thing will unquestionably lead to another that when it doesn't, it's unsettling and I never really know what to do with myself in those moments.

I looked at my phone, two messages, one from Alex one from Arthur. I should have just gone home, but for some incomprehensible reason, I was determined to go out.

We drove over a bridge. I was so lost and had absolutely no idea where I was going.

Take the A Train

I was torn - my feelings had gotten the best of me and I was left with no options. There was nothing I could hold onto, no solid ground, no comfort, no stability. To my surprise, this wasn't as unbearable as I'd imagined it to be. I'd been surprised at how fast I could move on- not that I'm where I want to be - but when there is a connection, there is a connection, and the chemistry was so strong my body shivered, my face blushed and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I wished to be held, longed to be touched, but I knew it wasn't real, he was playing me like he'd play a game of tennis with his friends. I don't doubt that he liked me, very much in fact, and that I pleased him so. But it was not real, and of this I was certain. He was completely aware, as was I, that there was nothing really there except for these thrilling fantasies. I also knew he wasn't right for me, at least not for more than a little while. Depending on how long I could endure his tormenting games. I knew that the less exciting of the two, but still a passionate man, could be of better interest, but there was no way to convince myself of choosing him over the excitement that was waiting for me in the Upper East Side. I had to try it. I had to. I would live a life of misery if I didn't.

I had to.

I'm feeling a little better, but still really disappointed and also disgusted by my two best friends. It's the biggest slap in the face I've ever had to deal with, and for the first time in my life, I am able to say that I am not the one who has done wrong here. I was angry when it first happened, but I've let that go, and now I'm just left with sadness and disappointment. But it's true, I really do believe that everything happens for a reason, and part of me believes that simon cheating on me with my best friend in my own house and bed was to show me the disrespect and unfaithfulness they are both capable of, and were capable of all along. And now I can step back and ask myself if those are the people I really want to trust, connect with and care for. 
maybe one day I'll look back and find this all very humorous.
for now,it hurts so much.

l'été

His hands crept along her thigh and rested at her waist for only a couple of seconds before she pushed his hand off her and moved further away from him. The night was hot, there was no need for blankets, let alone skin contact. The air conditioner was on but it was broken - it was a fucking scorcher in her room, you could hardly move without breaking a sweat. He moved his body closer to hers and kissed her neck. "I love you" he whispered to her, half conscious. She moved further, now half awake from all the restlessness "Can you stop? Go to your side, it's too hot." He unspooned her and turned so they were back to back. She waited until he had stopped moving, when his breathing became deep and crawled out of bed. She went to the bathroom and saw a coward in the reflection of the mirror. She watched a tear collect in the corner of her eye and slowly roll down her cheek. She drank some water and looked at herself again. She looked old. Her face was pale and her eyes looked tired. She knew she didn't need the same things she had lacked in her previous relations; the closeness, the touching, the constant expression of appreciation. She walked to her room and there he was; such an angel, sleeping so soundly, with both hands in his boxers, fondling his private parts. There wasn't anything he could offer her.  She slipped into bed and tried to remember how she had felt at the beginning of it all.

"What do I need?" she whispered to him, but her eyes closed and she was sleeping before she heard an answer.

I can't remember what my original plan was - I really shouldn't call it a plan, it was more of a presumption. My mind is cloudy because of this and I seem unable to make a decision.
I deeply regret making you agree with my side of things, and when you said "I want you to be 100% in the moment" I should have just shut my god damn fucking mouth and thought about what was being proposed instead of whining like a stupid bullshit baby when she doesn't get her way.
mind it wanders
what is gone is gone
what is lost is l o s t

"I mean, there you have it, it's pretty clear, things obviously aren't working out. Our relationship has run its course, I'm really, really sorry Ali."

29 days

this is not working out

Natalie

My 20 year old cousin Natalie was found this morning by her room mates. My mother told me that she took some pain killers, went drinking, and never woke up.

Rest

lost

Much to his dismay, there was no other solution except for jumping off the Champlain Bridge. The bridge itself isn't very high, maybe 2000 feet and it probably couldn't do the deed, but the water was cold so maybe it could.
He had already given all his belongings away to his friends, he told them he was moving away. He even bought his bus ticket as proof of his departure.  A couple of weeks later, he threw himself off that bridge.

As he was floating in the air and the water was approaching he had some important realizations. It didn't change much.

2010

There's a faint sound in the distance, if I close my eyes and open my ears I can hear it clearly. It calls my name day in and day out. From the kitchen I could hear it calling my name, I followed it to your bedroom where you laid sound asleep. I kissed you goodbye and your arm reached out to grab mine, you kissed my hand. Stained glass from the previous evening. It was all a masquerade. I swore to myself; never again.

2011

I heard the sound again, I closed my eyes. I followed and it brought me to the washroom where my guts poured into the toilet bowl where I sat perched over the edge gasping for breath barely able to keep my head up. The sound was there in the distance, I got up to follow it, hoping it had the answers this time. But when I opened my eyes there you were staring at me, in disgust, wondering how it could have gotten to this. And the clock was rocking back and forth back and forth the ebb and flow of time, counting down the days.

Early into 2012

I heard it again, this time I ran. I ran as far as my legs could carry me. I had to stop, gasping for breath, I looked up at the sky and there it was. As I was trying to make out the shapes and understand what was above, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. It became obvious to me then that there was nowhere to hide, there you were, right behind me, once again. Everywhere.

You brought me home. Lord knows I was not lost, I was merely running away from you, it was the only way.

Push me back, "settle down, time will do you good", you said and kissed me goodbye. I often wonder how much time it must take. I often wonder.

2012

Tonight I heard the sound again. I kept my eyes open but I still heard it, clear as day. I clutched at the pillow as he spoke, as the truth came out. They didn't come from you, they came from him. While it's all the same to you it makes all the difference to me.

I sat there in disbelief. The faint sounds ceased all at once. I knew this day would come.

We are all good and we all deserve to be happy.

I often wonder how much time.

I often wonder how much time this must take.

sometimes crazy things happen and your life changes. completely.

my life is about to change - actually, it has already changed.

I got a full scholarship to New School in New York City. Sometimes crazy things happen and you just gotta go with it.

"I don't believe in the idea of wanting to be alone.

You're either in love or you've fallen out of it" - Frau Kahn

Moving out of your parents' house is difficult because you are faced with decisions you didn't think would be forced to confront just yet.

All transitions are difficult, but this one is particularly. Foremost, when moving between one place and another you are in limbo; with some things at your new place and some at your old - constantly going back and forth between houses can make you feel uneasy; temporary limbo. Secondly, having to decide what is essential and what could be left behind makes you reassess your entire purpose of existence; who are you? what do you enjoy? what do you absolutely need? why are you even here? Because when making these decisions, you come to the realization that you own too many things; are these worthless possessions important to you?

However, once the move is over, you can sit comfortably in your new bed and look around to see all that you've accomplished: four days prior this had been a bare room, with bare walls, and bare floors, but now it's filled with a bunch of shit that somewhat represents you as a person- what a success! Boy - what a fucking accomplishment.

The feeling of content slowly passes and the more time you spend in your new house the more you wonder if it could ever become your home.

we rolled around kissing here and there
rolled and rolled
and laughed and laughed



I'd say it felt pretty real

I thought it would be ironic to wear the same outfit I wore when I first hooked up with Alex.
But as I slipped into my black dress, I realized it wasn't clever and took it off.

So now I'm wearing a black skirt and green shirt, but I guess the earrings are the same as the first time with Simon.
And I guess the skirt is the same skirt as the first time with Liam.
And now that I think about it, these tights are the same tights as that time with Tyler.

I guess you can never really forget.
Everything is ironic.
Or maybe its just a coincidence that this time last year I was heading over to his best friend's house.

It'll be two months in two weeks; I remember both days quite well. I had not heard from you in quite some time - I was trying to keep my distance, give you some space. You finally called, I remember, I left my class to answer your call, you had me tied around a little string, you really did. The young helpless puppy chasing after its mother, yearning for her warmth, for her comfort. I followed you hopelessly, round and round, it's only now that I realize this. I am sorry.

That night, when I went right you went left. I came to you, and with no hesitation, you turned away and ran in the opposite direction - I should have seen the signs before this; nobody cared to show me. I should have realized I had us trapped in a cage. I shouldn't have put you, or me, for that matter, in this situation. I don't blame you.

We drove around, I couldn't stop smiling, part of me, the drunk part, wanted to drive around all night with you, aimlessly. I wanted to stay with you, there, before the problems beyond the proximity of the car could taint our pure love and happiness. I remember your hand being on the steering wheel, I grabbed for it, but you pulled away. I knew this would probably be the last time we would spend the night together. Some part of me knew this was the reality, that things just weren't working out, but I couldn't come to terms with it, I couldn't imagine not being able to just drive around like this anymore, I couldn't imagine not lying in bed for hours before actually crawling out of it, hugging each other, rolling around, it was too much to bear, so I just kept on smiling, told you I loved you and loved being with you and when you responded with "so do I", I knew you were lying but I just smiled, turned my head and stared out my window into the sky, watching the blurry stream of lights guide us home.

I tried my hardest for the night to never end, I wanted to stay with you forever, I swear to god, I'm not exaggerating. You know that feeling, you can feel it when it starts slipping through your fingers; your body freezes, there are so many pieces to pick up, where do you start where do you start?! That is the problem, there was nowhere to start. It was helpless, hopeless, a million little pieces scattered on the floor. I am so sorry.

How I cried that night, I cried, in your arms, for the last time, I knew. I cry, and will cry forever, it seems, for you. I wake in the morning and it lies in my gut, I feel sick, all the time.

Acceptance

I cried all the way home. I was crying because I was rejected, yes, for the second time. When I stopped feeling sad for myself, I cried for real this time. You couldn't believe my plans, my goals, my future, my ambitions. You didn't even care. You don't care to keep a friendship because to you I am nothing. So now, whether or not this is how I 'd like to live my life: the plan I currently have set, the dreams, the goals: whether or not this is really what I want to do, doesn't matter at all. I will do exactly what has been dreamed. I will realize all of my goals, and I will do it all for you.I will live for you. I will do things, not for myself, but to prove that I can do them, to prove to you that I can accomplish something: that I am not worthless. To prove to you that I will be nothing like you thought. To prove to you, to myself, that you were wrong about me.

I've turned the page, goodbye, once and for all. You will not succeed. You are fucked up. You will never be truly happy.

Go, be a leader. No one will follow you because you are nobody. You are nothing.

Backstabber

I'll play the victim. from now on. It was you first, but it's my turn now. This is how I feel. And I know. That you don't love me anymore. Because I don't think that I do either. But I can't say it first. Its ugly, dirty, messy, foul, my stomach turns. My heart weeps, LOVE ME, but I cannot love. It weeps when I'm around you. The fever of jealousy, as rotten as a spoiled plum, our love is dead.

Why do you cry

"I cry when I listen to Broken Social Scene in my car, with the windows down and my hair flying all over the place". She continued, "I cry when it rains and I don't have an umbrella and I cry when you don't call me after you said you would and I cry when you don't look at me when I look at you and I cry when I remember how things used to be between us and I cry when I try and remember the last time we made love and I cry when I take your hand and you pull yours away and I cry when I think of the first time we met and I cry when I hear you lie to me and I cry at the thought of not being together and I cry at the thought of staying together and I cry when you tell me you love me I cry when you tell me you need me. I cry all the time but you just don't see it because you chose to live completely and utterly blinded".

He kissed her on the cheek, got up, started walking to the door. Halfway there he stopped, turned around, took a deep breath and whispered "I loved you, and I love you, and I'll always love you, but I don't like you, I don't like you anymore, I don't like you at all. I don't like this, this. I don't like what we've become. I don't like what you've become. If you cry when I tell you I love you and you cry when you think of not being with me, when don't you cry ? I am so confused. I hate you, actually no, I loathe you. I hate the fact that you are so crazy and you've ruined everything. This is not my fault, this is your fault. Remember that."He turned around and walked out the door, for the last time. The last time they would see each other.

But now, when she listens to Broken Social Scene in her car, she can't help but smile.

and then cry.

Grow Grow Grow

Like a tree you grow,

strong, beneath the ground, beneath what we see

Like a tree you grow,

strong, towards the sky, longing to be closer to the sun

Like a tree you grow,

farther and farther away from everything you once loved

Like a tree you grow

summer of love

we lied in the grass, the hot sun seeping into our pores

drunk with lust and infatuation, and beer,

we stayed until the sun set,

until the moon rose,

until all was silent

so close,

I was ready for anything

a n y t h i n g

we could have lied there for days

Auntie Deb

"And if that doesn't work, you move on" said Deb, half smirking.

"Babe, listen. Life's a journey. Doesn't work ? You turn the page. It's as simple as that".

Never Been a Fighter

She ordered a hot chocolate, hesitating, would the sugar keep her up?did she even want a drink? All she had to do was wait. she scanned the different beverages to waste some time.

and that's when she saw him, sitting by the window,

oh, it had been a while.

old feelings came back, stronger than they had, ever.

He invited her up to his apartment to "show her around".

You know when it's love and when it's not love, and you know when you just need to take some chances sometimes.

Boy do I love taking chances.

Juliet, Naked

The truth about autobiographical songs, he realized, was that you had to make the present become the past, somehow: you had to take a feeling or a friend or a woman and turn whatever it was into something that was over, so that you could be definitive about it. You had to put it in a glass case and look at it and think about it until it gave up its meaning, and he'd managed to do that with just about everybody he'd ever met or married or fathered.

started reading moonpalace

Humanities

The infatuation over, we find ourselves in a miserable condition.

Intentions intentions, motives, motives.

"Are you serious ? You actually think that?"

"Well what ? you disagree? You're always calling up dudes to hang out with them, to get coffee, to have a beer, what do you think they think ?"

He said this all too seriously, like he'd thought about it long and hard, like he'd sat down and figured her out.

"You're a tease and I think you know it and I think you like it".

I've Changed.

June 24th, 2004

T une fille super belle pi g po eu le courage de te demander de sortir ac moi mais torais suremnt di non.

Bye!

Guillaume

my last day of grade 6.

Siebente Symphonie

Just that lone wolf about to prey on some asshole, apparently.

Holly

Carefree

Charming and naivete

Yet deliberately flighty,

Promiscuous,

and intensely preoccupied with herself.

Oh-I've made a mess of everything

silly school girls will always be seduced by older men.

-jenny

Painting Xavier

"Are you sure she wont be coming home anytime soon ?" I asked.

"Yes, I am positive. She's out with her friends. " He responded.

We began taking our clothes off and not before long we were completely undressed.

He smelled like booze but I liked it. I always like it.

Forbidden love.

She will never know.

We were making out, his fingers slipping through my long, black curls.

Under the covers we touched and grazed each other's bare skin and made passionate love love love. This wasn't the first time.

Not the last time either, probably.

We've been together for a year now.

And then she opened the door and walked in.

Deep Secrets

but she's too honest, too blunt. too eccentric, you know what I mean right ?

no, I don't. why are you saying these things ?

her clothes. I don't like them.

her hair is too thick, I can't run my fingers through it.

She's perfect though, the babe has got blue eyes. why won't you just go, for, it ?

Well now she's in me, and I'm fucking her while listening to Tiny Dancer and all I can think about is how much I'd rather be reading a book.

Steamy

My skin feels so hot and kind of burning from the sun.

Your girlfriend will never find out what we did last night.

I fall in love too easily

I was quite cool, the perfect temperature actually.
but I could feel my cheeks begin to flush when he slowly started rubbing his hand on mine.
Nobody noticed.

The unbearable fate of the black umbrella

Oh, what a dismal day it was.
The sun in hiding,
The clouds creeping down.
The winds sweeping in all directions.

The rain was flying sideways.

As we were walking towards the exit,
I began to open my black umbrella
"NO DON'T DO THAT! YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE", yelled Richard trying to pry the black umbrella from my hands. But it was too late, the black umbrella had already been opened.
"FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ??!!! oh my goodness, what will I do ?" I questioned mockingly.

As I walked into the street a black car hit me and I died.

Priority

I'm with sam, I'm really drunk, I'm really sorry.

Stardust

They met last fall
It took two months,
that was all.

She was doubtful,
He was unaware.

but things had changed so much so he just had to ask:
"Would you want to try again, just out of curiosity and sexosity?"

We didn't sleep much

La fille est venue, partie.
Comme le jour, la nuit.

Spring

some photos, here and there

I remember when we would grow trees outside that were blue and white. We were happy when our tears would fill the bathtub and we would wash away our fears. The honey would drip from the clouds and land on our toes. Those were the

days where we would run naked amongst the souls of the dead butterflies. You were mine and I was yours. We belonged together, we belonged to each other. Like the roots belong to the trees and the sun belongs to the sky. We believed in each other; we loved each other. It was love.

One day, you changed that; you changed it all by yourself. You had no help from anyone. You fell in love with a mermaid when I thought I had found my frog to kiss, my

prince to marry. You left me alone by the river even when you had promised to fly me across. Now how was I supposed to get to the other side?

You were mine and I was yours. You belonged to me and I belonged to you. I was yours and you were mine. We spoke and promised these things, these objects, these meaningless words to each other with our fingers intertwined in the deepest of our dreams, the deepest of our oceans, with my hair, in the wind, and your lips, on my lips. But after all, how can you save a rootless tree?

Music

Me, Emilie and Thanya playing music for the boys..

I guess.

sunday afternoon

Today,

I woke up not remembering when I went to bed.

I remember lying next to Felix and Emilie and Felix was talking about Gwen.

I guess I dozed off while he was talking about her.

I heard something coming from outside of Emilie's door.

I pulled my hair into a bun and walked out of her room to go to the washroom.

The sun was shining brightly through the window.

it was so beautiful.

Felix was there. I was surprised to see him there still, I thought he had gone home last night.

We took the metro together.

He told me I tried to cuddle with him.

I went to Starbucks before going home because I wanted a hot chocolate.

The man serving me forgot to get my drink, so I waited for 10 minutes.

Damien Rice was playing.

He is my favorite.